A Beautiful Mess

A Sexual Abuse and Addiction Recovery Blog

Drinking/Drugging CBA

1.) What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me?

-it allows me to escape
-feel a ‘bond’ with someone, even if it is a drug dealer, fellow user or bartender
-temporarily heightens my self value
-for that moment, I am so caught up in getting high, I’m not thinking about my ‘issues’

2.) What do I hate about my addiction, what bad things does it do to me and to others?

-it decreases my emotional health
-it decreases my spiritual health
-it decreases my physical health
-nothing is important to me when I am getting high, but getting high
-pawning things of value to pay for my habit
-my relationship with my family is distanced
-miss out on seeing younger members of my family growing into amazing adults
-it makes me feel like I am crazy
-isolation
-it increases my panic and anxiety episodes
-it makes me feel as though I have no value, after the fact
-it brings me close to people that don’t care about me, just my money
-it doesn’t allow me to reach my goals or the quality of life that I want to have
-it stands in the way of me meeting people who may actually bring value to my life
-it makes me feel like I am living in secrecy
-it makes me feel like I am a fraud
-decreases my self value
-increased unwanted sexual promiscuity

3.) What do I think I will like about giving up my addition?

-validation to myself that I can do it
-increased quality of life
-better social circle
-family will be very happy and less stressed and more trusting, in time
-the money that I save
-goals will be easier to attain with a clear mind
-deal with issues head on and put them behind me, instead of completely avoiding them
-not dealing with “coming down”
-self respect
-a sense of accomplishment
-increased overall health
-less isolated
-not waking up and remembering that I’ve pawned half my **** for drugs

4.) What do I think I won’t like about giving up my addiction?

-having to let go of people I perceived as friends
-withdrawals
-cravings
-initial loneliness
-that some people will always view me as less because of my actions over the years, and not being able to escape from that hurt and having to deal with it
-dealing with issues head on without being able to escape
-possibly changing so much that some people that are in my life now, won’t be later, they may not like the sober me or I may not like them when I’m sober

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One response to “Drinking/Drugging CBA

  1. […] Beautiful Mess A Sexual Abuse and Addiction Recovery Blog Skip to content HomeAboutDrinking/Drugging CBAPersonal Bill of Rights ← Last Day […]

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