A Beautiful Mess

A Sexual Abuse and Addiction Recovery Blog

My Life

Lost and misguided

Been there.

Did it.

Tried it.

Cried about it,

Lied about it,

Felt pain about it,

Beat around the bush about it.

Rationalized it.

Falsified it.

Satisfied it.

Crucified for it.

Rejected.

Dejected.

Subjected.

And yes, to few… Accepted.

Gained perspective.

Intercepted.

Submitted to it.

Admitted to it.

Committed to it.

A new page has opened for me.

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“I AM”

I AM sincere and loyal.

I WONDER if I will ever get married and what my life will be like in ten years from now.

I HEAR dreams whispering and thoughts creeping.

I SEE love and hope.

I AM sincere and loyal.

 

I PRETEND to be okay when I’m not.

I FEEL blessed.

I TOUCH the keys of the keyboard.

I CRY when I think about the relationship my mother and I never had.

I AM sincere and loyal.

 

I UNDERSTAND that everyone takes their own journey.

I SAY that recovery is hard, but it’s worth it.

I DREAM of a true love some day.

I TRY to give 100% on every task I take on.

I HOPE that someday I will be able to forgive my mother… fully and completely.

I AM sincere and loyal.

 

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