A Beautiful Mess

A Sexual Abuse and Addiction Recovery Blog

A Dance With Anxiety – Life Slips Away

on December 2, 2010

A lot of paraphrasing went on from my source which is an excerpt from “The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety“.  I plan on purchasing it myself, because the four pages I did receive in group were very enlightening and encouraging.

Most people want to move through life with the sun on their face and no obstacles in their way.  I know I do.  Unfortunately, life is not that simple.  We experience things in life that can cause us to have to deal with painful memories, anxiety, nervousness, negative thoughts and the list could go on.  A lot of times, because we don’t know any better, we seek to avoid these feelings.  We freak out.  We stop going down any road so to speak.  We are at a stand still in life.  We sometimes turn around and start taking steps back in life.  We turn our energies into trying to get a grip.  We try many different methods to fix it all and make it go away before proceeding down the road of life.  All the while we are fixated on trying to fix or rid ourselves our these things, time is ticking away.  Our life is just waiting on us to live it and pretty soon our life, itself, also becomes sad because it knows the outcome if we continue to do this.  We simply remove ourselves from living.

When we pull out of life, we don’t get away from our hurt.  When we run away or hide, we take these hurts with us.  We feel exhausted, frustrated and defeated.  And then of course, here comes our negative thinking that keeps pecking away with questions like, “why can’t I be normal”, “why can’t I get a grip on my fears and anxieties”…  We are stuck.  We feel cheated, we feel mad.  Our life is not sadder than it was before but yet it is still waiting for us to live it.

But then something changes, something profound and beautiful happens!

We see what is really going on.

We take stock.

We say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

We open ourselves up to other possibilities in life.  Maybe, my thoughts and feelings are not barriers at all in life.  Perhaps I need to accept the fact that all of this just makes me part of who I am today.  Maybe I can live my life with these things in it, and still do things that I care about.

Life is meant to be lived.  We will all experience things in life that will seem overwhelming, daunting and perhaps make us want to throw the towel in.  But it’s the fact that we can’t stop living.  We can’t avoid these things.  And by attempting to do so and investing so much time and energy into the “what if’s” or the could of, would of, and should of’s, we utilize precious energy and time into the wrong things. 

I am committed to learning to act on my anxiety in a totally different way so that I don’t watch my life simply go by.

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