A Beautiful Mess

A Sexual Abuse and Addiction Recovery Blog

Illuminating the Journey

on May 21, 2010

I went to a survivor speak out and celebration of healing.  It was much needed as I really felt kind of out of body this past week.  I am constantly humbled, even when I think I’m being humble.  I continue to be humbled.  I feel like I’m being broke down, to be built back up and I’m cool with that.  Lord only knows how many times I’ve been built up to be broke down.  So knowing that it’s all for the good, I’m willing to suffer through it and do everything in my power to stay focused.

Back to to survivor speak out, it was so moving.  I’m in the beginning stages of my treatment and it’s all about safety and learning to control myself.  I’m getting comfortable with the fact that a perfect state will not exist.  It is not possible, but I can take the tools I am learning and do my best with them.  They are making an impact in just a short period of time and I’m doing pretty well if I do say so myself 🙂

We lit a candle at the survivor speak out.  It was symbolic of helping bring someone else to light out of darkness.  We spent a moment in time giving thought, prayers and positive energy to those that have yet to seek help.

I’m thankful for the day.  I’m thankful for those that are no longer choosing to associate with me.  I’m thankful for those that are re-emerging.  I’m thankful that I have had one of life’s “aha moments”.

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One response to “Illuminating the Journey

  1. Lisa says:

    Love the post. Glad you’re doing well. Wow Martika, talk about a blast from the past. I haven’t heard that song in a long time. I think I was about 10 when it first came out. I always had the radio on back in the day.

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