A Beautiful Mess

A Sexual Abuse and Addiction Recovery Blog

Blah. Quit Sounding Like a Victim!

on May 19, 2010

I’m in group therapy that is giving me skills to empower myself to make better decisions.  I am so thankful that I have this opportunity.  I really didn’t just like rereading my last blog.  I kind of felt like it was a cross between boo hoo, poor me… and someone I’m justifying my right to drink if emotions become too much.

I don’t have the privilege of thinking that way unless I just want to throw my self respect out the window.  Although, I do have to start counting again.  Day 25, no cocaine.  Day 3, no drinking.  Do I really need to count?!  I suppose, it gives me reference points and hopefully I won’t see a trend other than the days getting bigger and bigger.

Eyes on God.  Humility.  Pride before a fall.  Stay focused.  In the Moment.

I’m still feeling rather guilty about not attending a wedding where old drug using buddies will be because I feel like I’m being a horrible friend.  😦  This, too, shall pass.

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