A Beautiful Mess

A Sexual Abuse and Addiction Recovery Blog

Friend or Safety ((What Did I Choose))

on May 14, 2010

Well, in my last blog, I wrote about the internal battle I was having inside of myself.  Turns out that more than likely this friend wasn’t a friend at all.  They didn’t choose to be supportive of a decision that will keep me safe and sober.  They personally attacked me and told me all about myself.  I didn’t give their opinion any real value.  What would make them an expert on my life anyways?  It was a true test of our friendship.  What I came out of it with is a lighter heart, a sense of self worth for truly putting myself first, and getting a chance to see them for whom they really were.  I didn’t lose a friend.  I lost a drinking / partying buddy.  Woopty doo.

So during recovery, I don’t mind losing people along the way.  Those that don’t stick around and support me were never my friends to begin with.  C’est la vie!

Putting myself first is not a natural occurring event for me and it was awkward and didn’t feel right.  But they did explain that a lot of what we will be doing will not feel natural.  And of course it won’t.  I am choosing to deal with life on life’s terms and not self medicate with cocaine or alcohol.

Day 20 🙂  And just for today, I did what I needed to do to keep me safe, happy and healthy.  I am very blessed and incredibly thankful 🙂

I will be covering this week’s discussion tomorrow or over the weekend.  Topics to come are “Assertiveness Part II” and “Grounding”.

Things that I used to cope this past week: mindfulness, meditation, yoga, blogging, calling my support network of friends

Added plus to the day 🙂  I exchanged numbers with a gal in group and I’m really excited to have the possibility of someone to hang out with, without the drama of the clubs, alcohol and need to party.  Rock on!  Life is good.

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3 responses to “Friend or Safety ((What Did I Choose))

  1. Lisa says:

    You definately made the right decision if she was telling you it’s ok for you to drink. If she comes to her senses, she’ll contact you. If not, you didn’t lose anything important.

    • I’m not interested in her so called friendship. All she’s done is talk sh!t about me and tell me what her real serious thoughts were about me. I think that our time together ran its course and I’m ready to leave her in the past with a lot of other people, places and things. Thank you for the comment Lisa, it’s really nice to know that someone out there is reading and listening 🙂

  2. Blue says:

    Don’t worry about losing people. No matter what your going thru in life you will always loose people. But you gain new ones. I like to think people come into your life for a reason and when that’s done then they might leave.

    Hope your recovery is going well,
    ms. Smiley

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